August 22, 2012
The moon is made of cheese, pigs fly and Roy Roberts knows what he’s talking about. At home I have a little blue passport together with an official certificate and a nice letter from President George W. Bush congratulating me on being a citizen of these great United States.

The moon is made of cheese, pigs fly and Roy Roberts knows what he’s talking about. At home I have a little blue passport together with an official certificate and a nice letter from President George W. Bush congratulating me on being a citizen of these great United States.
However, the local Republican chairman knows better. In his column of August 8 he keeps calling me “a British national” – no fewer than four times in one paragraph alone. Does he ever check his facts before he blows off?
As “a British national” I have no business discussing things American, is what he’s implying. Nice try, Chairman Roberts, but a failing grade. I’m not “different” or “other” as he’s trying to paint me, the same way he attempts to apartheid the president.
I’m American. But Ol’ Roy just assumed I was one o’ them durned “ferners”. The local cattle baron does a lot of this assuming, so much that he keeps stepping in his own cow pies. Fools rush in and all that.
So what else is The Chairman misrepresenting? Let’s compare more of his bee ess to reality. Not enough space to debunk all the bunkum, therefore just a sampling, beginning with the Lord.
“Obama canceled the National Day of Prayer in the White House.” No he didn’t, he held it in defiance of Federal judge Barbara Brandriff Crabb of Wisconsin who had ruled it unconstitutional. Obama has issued the proclamation each year he’s been in office. Before Bush Junior there was no president who celebrated it in the White House every year. Ronald Reagan did it only one time. And, surprise surprise, it’s for “people of all faiths.”
“Obama does refuse to wear a flag pin as it is too divisive.” What, one of those cheapies made in Guangdong, China? Any true American would refuse! Roberts’ psychic bilge stems from a deceitful 2007 e-mail based on a photograph and a parody by humorist John Semmens. Twice-failed California Tea Party candidate Howard Kaloogian is the pusher behind this junk. When caught out he just shrugs off “a mistake”.
”Obama has put more people on food stamps than any other president.” Roberts regurgitates this preposterous campaign ad by Newt Gingrich who himself repeated another e-mail lie. No president ever “put” anyone on food stamps but with Bush in charge the number of recipients grew by 14.7 million. Under Obama it rose 14.2 million, and this largely the legacy of the disastrous Bush years.
“Obama’s policies have given us the slowest recovery in history.” So he admits it’s a recovery. Whoops! The Chairman let a morsel of truth slip out... we are undeniably in a recovery!
But slowness? Mitt Romney has been making the same totally false claim, saying it’s since the Great Depression, but once again The Chairman knows better, asserting that it’s “in history”. While today’s recovery is indeed sluggish, in job creation and also the unemployment rate both Bushes, Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon and – bless him! – Ronald Reagan all oversaw weaker ones.
Worth noting it was Dubbya who ran the country out of gas and now Republicans have the nerve to blame Obama for not running fast enough to the nearest BP station with the can.
Another imbecilic whopper: “Why did and does Obama spend millions of dollars for lawyers to conceal his past, from birth to present?” Answer: he didn’t and he doesn’t. The Republican-led Supreme Court has thrown out crazy claims about his birth and citizenship every time and at near-zero cost to Obama.
The hospital where he was born didn’t exist. Kenya wasn’t called Kenya. Both untrue statements. Do the research – it’s easy! Must we constantly revisit all this rubbish that was shot down years ago with silver Fact Bullets?
Birthers like Roberts propagate such stuff, the dumber the better, hoping it won’t be questioned, whereas Romney and Tea Party sweetheart Paul Ryan sidestep this idiocy. If true, you can bet they’d embrace it.
Wrangler Roy needn’t look far for more bovine excrement to spread. It’s right there under his feet. What is Barack Obama’s Social Security number, Mr. Roberts? And how did you get it? There are strict laws governing disclosure of Social Security numbers. Of course if your story’s fake you’re in the clear.
Still got your chaps around your ankles! Romney didn’t release two years’ tax returns, only 2010 with 2011 promised in October. He showed John McCain 23 years according to the senator’s top adviser Steve Schmidt. But for My Fellow Americans? Here’s his wife: “We’ve given all you people need to know.”
You people.
Incidentally, it’s perfectly reasonable to demand truth and transparency from the man who would be president who’s also the man who hides his American-made money in other countries.
Obama “giving the Queen an iPod with his own speeches.” Wrong again, Roy. The iPod contained footage of her U.S. visit along with a songbook signed by Richard Rodgers whom she admires. Did Queen Elizabeth complain directly to The Chairman? No. Ol’ Roy just repeats any ol’ rumor.
Here’s one for you, Mr. Roberts: What exactly was your connection to the Wingo family and Angel Food Ministries?
And now that I’m displaying my U.S. passport he’ll likely say it’s some kind of Kenyan Muslim forgery.
The Olympics are over. What a pity, because the USA would have won a couple more golds if we’d entered Roy Roberts in the events in which he excels – Grandstanding and Conclusion Jumping.
ENDIT
© 2012 Fred Wehner
is a journalist formerly with the Daily Mail
in London, who then founded and ran the New York News Agency before settling in Monroe 21 years ago.