Tuesday, June 26, 2012


June 26, 2012
What’s the difference between a hypocrite and a hippo critter? One’s a fickle,  bloated and belligerent pig-like creature with a big mouth and a deceptively benign appearance. The other lives in Africa.
They want our votes, so the hypocrites are back, urging us to elect them for all the brilliant things they’re going to do for our community and our country and once again we can’t believe a single word these prevaricators say. Nothing. There are just too many lies. And too many liars to list here.
Putting aside President Obama and Mitt Romney, we can take a squint  at some of our other politicians
The quintessential hypocrite would be Georgia’s own darling Newt Gingrich. He was the Republicans’ lead attack dog, snarling and snapping at Bill Clinton’s leg for his presidential peccadillos while simultaneously conducting an adulterous affair of his own. The not-very-Reverend Jesse Jackson is another. He rendered spiritual counseling to Clinton for his wayward ways and all along he, too, was committing adultery.
These are two of the characters with the gall to step out front and proclaim themselves our leaders, our role models, individuals we’re supposed to heed.  Dishonest. Dishonorable. Disgraceful. They’re society’s dregs, and I include Billy Liar in this for befouling the White House and our sacred presidency with his sly deceptions and cigar sex with “that woman Miss Lewinsky”. And for his hypocrisy in shunning show-and-tell Congressman Anthony ‘Bulge’ Wiener for a far lesser offense.
There are too many of these double-dealing varmints. Their main characteristic, apart, of course, from their chicanery and lack of integrity, is that they never embarrass. Once caught they’ll just brazen it out, shrug off the guilt as though nothing ever happened. Carry on regardless. Business as usual.
And how easily the rest of us forget.
But this election time we mustn’t be blind to the two-faced people urging us to get them into the legislative jobs that’ll land them big corporate backhanders. Here are some more of these mountebanks:
Sen. David Vitter (R. La), preacher of sexual abstinence - although not for himself. The Vitter critter, a sleazebag with a diaper fetish, was a regular client of Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the infamous DC Madam. So he’s a lawbreaker: how can anyone make him a lawmaker?
Vitter demanded Clinton’s resignation whilst himself in bed with hookers. And he’s part of a crowd of pecksniffian lowlifes cloaking themselves in religion. They include Sen John Ensign (R-Nv), Governor Mark Sanford (R-SC) and Charles ‘Chip’ Pickering (R-Ms), all adherents to the secretive Christian “church” on Washington’s C Street and all of them major league philanderers.
They’ve been promoting themselves as champions of “family values”. I value my family, so you guys stay away. Are these the kind of people we want making laws about morals? Or anything?
We have Mark Foley (R-Fl) and Larry Craig (R-Id) voting repeatedly against homosexuals’ rights and then being caught in homoerotic situations, one with young male interns, the other soliciting sex in a Minneapolis men’s room.
On the other side there’s House minority leader Nancy Pelosi who accepted labor union awards while using non-union labor in her vineyard and restaurant chain.
Spotlight, too, the exceptionally slimy serial adulterer John Edwards (D-NC) whose sanctimonious censure in early 1999 of Clinton’s immorality joined the Republican chorus. It rings hollow today. This smiling serpent told folks to get rid of their gas-guzzling SUVs... while keeping three of his own.
Former governor Eliot Spitzer (D-NY) signed America’s toughest anti-prostitution bill in 2007. A year later he was caught with a $1,000-an-hour call girl and over a decade had spent a reported $80,000 on strumpets.
State governors like Bobby Jindal (R-La) and Hayley Barbour (R-Ms) megaphoned their haughty refused of stimulus money to the nation, then, after quietly accepting, doled it out with equally great fanfare as though it came from them, not the Federal government.
On his first day as our governor, ethically-challenged Sonny Perdue limited gifts to state employees at $25, then accepted favors worth thousands from AFLAC and Home Depot lobbyists among others.
Even closer to home there’s Rob Woodall who wants to get rid of “Obamacare” and corral us back at the mercy of the rapacious health insurance companies. Yet under persistent questioning at a Social Circle town hall meeting in May he first conceded, then boasted, that his own medical coverage was free. Oh, and health is the second most generous industry funding his current campaign.
Tea Party dunce Paul Broun is another. This is the buffoon who touts his credentials as a medical doctor although he’s not board certified and therefore excluded from virtually all hospitals. See this fellow, shovel in hand, taking credit for a welding facility at North Georgia Technical College after voting to deny all funding for it.
There are many fine Southern gentlemen, but not these guys. My good neighbors would make far better representatives than these shabby politicians. We should diss them and ditch them; they don’t represent me or my ideals.
Kick the bums out, beginning with the known phonies. Several of the abovenamed are already gone. But along with the hypocrites we should expel the greedy opportunists and the extremists.
Hypocrisy and double-dealing have always been rife in the snakepit that’s Washington D.C. Nothing’s changed. Reporting in 1858 a British journalist described its hippopotamus-like denizens as: “Heavy persons with moist hands, eyes luminous with intoxicating beverages. They convict you of having met them before somewhere. They wildly shake your hand.”
To today’s snide politicians I say: Get your hand away from me!


© 2012 Fred Wehner is a journalist formerly with the Daily Mail in London, who then founded and ran the New York News Agency before settling in Monroe 21 years ago.