Sunday, October 30, 2011

THE HALLOWE’EN HALLS OF HELL


October 30, 2011

Boo! Didn’t make anyone jump, did it?
Y’know, I will never understand how dressing up like a Muppet, a piece of M&Ms candy or Kim Kardashian complete with enormous foam bottom could frighten anybody. Nor as a nurse or fireman. A policeman? Yes, very scary if you’ve watched the way they’ve been attacking peaceful citizens lately.
But what’s really alarming for all of us Americans this Hallowe’en is the state of our sacred country. Something terrible has happened to it and it’s eating away our souls.
Desperately uncertain times are upon us and there’s this spooky feeling that it’s all going to get a whole lot worse with all manner of nasty surprises.
However, that’s nothing compared to the warm welcome awaiting the most despicable people on earth. Who are they and where’s this reception?
Down, of course, to Hell’s fiery halls with all the real “hotties”. Satan must be salivating in anticipation of their arrival and telling his demons: “Clear those ten pews nearest the furnace. We’ll make it extra toasty for these guys because they’ve been so-o-o good at being bad.”
So who are they?
1. The diabolical doctors who operate on us when it’s entirely not necessary, and do it for the money they can make off insurance companies and Medicare. Too many cases of hystorectomies, spinal and other major procedures, many of which leave patients disfigured and in agony. And all to buy these charlatans their BMWs.
2. The cosmetic industry fiends who torture laboratory animals. In particular those performing the Draize test, drip-feeding toxic substances into the eyes of rabbits that are restrained but conscious all the time. They do it to dogs, too, but bunnies, with their larger eyes and no tear ducts, are preferred. And this just to make shampoos less uncomfortable for us. John Henry Draize himself died in 1992 and I’m certain he’s been Lucifer’s guest since then.
3. The evil ones of the food industry who lace our sustenance with all manner of chemicals that make us fat and sick. They find ways to disguise what they’re doing by using alternative wording for the preservatives and extenders they produce, including a disgusting goo known as Pink Slime.
4. The poofy preachers who rail against homosexuality – except not their own. Televangelists Ted Haggard and Jim Bakker are here with Atlanta’s own Bishop Eddie ‘Daddy’ Long. Other anti-gay hypocrites like lobbyist and Baptist minister George Rekers, who drooled over a website titled Rentboy.com and selected a companion, “Lucien”, because of the dimensions and will-dos the guy posted. They traveled together and, when exposed, Rekers said Lucien’s task had been “to lift his luggage”.
5. The pet food monsters who poison our dogs and cats with revolting filth dressed up to look like actual food. Not simply the Chinese crap that killed thousands of our cherished companions recently but also the unsupervised rendering plants that throw in euthanized pets along with road kill. All this comes in cutesy packaging that disguises the contents with generalizations. And this vile industry is virtually unregulated
6. The fanatics who blow up pubs and trains and planes in the name of religion as well as those who preach hatred of other religions and justify their barbarous acts as being the will of God. Here I obviously mean Muslim extremists, but there are others, too... Let’s nominate one: The Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas, led by disbarred lawyer Fred Phelps, that gathers at funerals to thank God for dead US soldiers.
7. Heartless debate audiences. Like the unpatriotic mob who booed a soldier putting his life on the line in Iraq who said he was a homosexual. And the ghouls who applauded Rick Perry executing 243, even the innocents among them, and others who cheered the notion of a critically ill man lacking health insurance being left to die.
8. Religious charity crooks who use the name of the Lord to enrich themselves. Here’s embezzler Jim Bakker again. Are our local do-gooders, the Wingo family, among these devils? We’ll soon find out. These folks headed, and recently closed down, not just their Angel Food Ministries but also their 600-seat Emmanuel Praise Church as an FBI investigation probed deeper.
9. The “family values” champions who haughtily promote clean living for others although not themselves. Among these are the sanctimonious politicians from both parties in the secretive Christian sect The Fellowship, aka The Family, on Washington’s C Street. Republicans David Vitter, John Ensign, Mark Sanford and Chris Pickering are the latest hypocritical C Street adulterers to be exposed. But their most vile act has been to promote a law in Uganda making homosexuality a death penalty “offense”. For Africans, you understand, not for anyone in this country. Yet
10 The Communist Chinese who “harvest” the organs of political prisoners for transplants. No, no, this isn’t a scary joke on witching night, and China hasn’t denied it, while refusing to explain the unusually high numbers of transplant operations. It’s been exposed by an international team of doctors who were already appalled that the Chinese were killing prisoners. But now they reveal that the organs are removed - for freshness - while the victims are still alive...
Somebody hold a crucifix up to All these chthonian bastards and make them wither.
Who have I left out? Ummm...

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© 2011 Fred Wehner is a journalist formerly with the Daily Mail in London, who then founded and ran the New York News Agency before settling in Monroe 21 years ago.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

THESE HALLOWE’EN TREATS ARE TRICKY


October 26, 2011

No ma’am, you’re right to wonder if the chocolate poo you bought for your kids is really chocolate and here’s the answer: No it is not. But – whoa whoa whoa - it isn’t real poo either, just something that’s a bit less disgusting.
At $5 a lump, Number Two is number one on the list of most repulsive candies being offered this Hallowe’en, sharing the top spot with snot, the, er, edible kind. Other major contenders for the key to Barf City are two hospital-type products, a plastic specimen jar containing a sour lemony Urine Sample for $5 and, at a dollar more, an IV bag of blood, fruit punch flavored.
All Hallows Eve is becoming increasingly bloodthirsty; maybe it’s just a reflection of society as a whole, although tradition refuses to die completely.
There are still the usual candy cockroaches and bags of gummy worms and other insects. Also cute little assorted body parts in fake formaldehyde or in a chocolate-colored version, including plucked-out eyes, severed fingers and toes.
But about that toilet tidbit that’s top of the Yechhh Parade. Chocolate Fantasies of Washington call their indelicate delicacy Crapola and will tell you what’s in it if you ask them. At 3.5 ounces and 550 calories the edible excrement has more sugar and partially hydrogenated oils in it than other ingredients. So Crapola is likely well-named, but it’s not actual chocolate, just a fantasy. .
Let’s take a closer look at what we’re giving our youngsters. And Parents: please be seated because this can be quite frightening.
The Mayo Clinic heads those who’ve been warning for years about the ubiquitous villain that uses different aliases in order to confuse us. It’s trans fat, aka trans fatty acid and also partially hydrogenated vegetable oil. It raises the bad cholesterol and lowers the good. Heart disease and other serious ailments can result. Plus it depresses the thyroid and thereby makes you fat.
Palm oil is sometimes offered up as a substitute. The World Health Organization warns against this goo too, citing heart disease, while American medical scientists add that there’s a risk of stroke.
One point made by the celebrated Dr Andrew Weill is that palm kernel oil, extracted with a petroleum-type solvent, is worse than palm oil, and fractionated palm oil, as found in “healthy” power bars, is the worst. They’re all potential killers.
So we face a – forgive me – a grave situation.
Who’s to blame? Even on a moonless night we don’t have to look far for the culprits. Begin with our old favorite the PalmOil company, going under the name Palmer and makers of the trans fatty Easter bunny that’s 2,100 calories. These folks produce yuk-yuk candy for other jolly festive occasions, yucky Hallowe’en included. But it’s no joke.
A 9 ounce bag of their Googly Eyes costs $2 and contains six servings of 220 calories, half of which from fat. Your eight-year-old wolfs down – today I should say werewolfs down - the lot and she’s had way more than her entire daily caloric allowance just from that one sweet treat. Eat just three of Palmer’s other ocular outtakes, Creepy Peepers, and you’ve had 190 calories. Both versions are replete with sugar, partially hydrogenated oils and additives.
The eyes have it. Bee International is selling its Chinese-made Oozing Eyeballs, jelly-filled with corn syrup, sugar and chemicals.
Moving on from baby blues we come to the offal in the Chocolaty Body Parts bag containing fudge and rice and peanut butter. Munching just two 2½-inch ears or three of the smaller items like lips equals nearly 200 calories
But notice the wording: Chocolaty. Not chocolate, which, legally, they couldn’t say because even though it looks like the good stuff it isn’t really. Sugar and the awful trans fatty palm oil are the main ingredients with cocoa down the list at number five..
Oh woe. The supermarket shelves are groaning with the weight of these abominations.
Flix Candy are the makers of Box Of Boogers, 3.5-ounces of green gilberts that’ll set you back two greenbacks. “Tangy” nose pickings, it says, that, “look and feel real”. Huh? How would they know? Did they get a panel of street urchins to compare their product with the actual? Did they make the comparison themselves? Ewwww!
Skeleton Pops are artificially flavored. You get an arm and a leg but at $5 it clearly doesn’t cost you that. There are more chemical treats like a 600-calorie bag of SpongeBob Squarepants Gummy Crabby Patty Candy for a couple bucks. Frankford Candy that sells these Chinese concoctions should be called Frankenfood, and not because it’s Hallowe’en.
Toxic Waste Hazardously Sour Candy might sound deliciously inviting to mischievous little pixie ears, but each little drumfull contains sugar, more corn syrup and artificial fixin’s, thereby making its name not terribly far from the truth.
So it’s back to dung, and if we must give our tyke this for Hallowe’en, then at least let’s seek out one made of real chocolate, even though this seems to be endangered feces.
Guittard’s $10 DooDoo is 5.6 ounces of pure milk chocolate with no additives or preservatives, however they don’t broadcast the ingredients and calorie count. You’d have to buy one, which I’ll admit I didn’t do because by now I’m all poo’d out

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© 2011 Fred Wehner is a journalist formerly with the Daily Mail in London, who then founded and ran the New York News Agency before settling in Monroe 21 years ago.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

INVASION OF THE NOBODY WATCHERS


October 23, 2011

Celebrities. Why “celebrities”? These people are entertainers, nothing more. I don’t celebrate them. Not even my favorites like Chuck Berry and the Monty Python squad. I never light candles to any of them. In my yard I never dance naked in their honor and just now I believe I heard an enormous communal sigh of relief coming from my neighbors on learning this.
Let’s see who these celebrities are. They’re people who pique our interest for the time they are “on” and then, instead of retiring gracefully, refuse to leave the stage. These are singers, actors, dancers, comedians. Perhaps also magicians, jugglers, animal trainers, contortionists and bearded ladies. They take up our leisure time. They eat up our other time if we let them.
In days of yore the chieftain or the sultan would clap his hands over his head. Then, between mouthfuls of sheep’s eyes or while picking bits of venison out of whatever teeth he might still have (depending on whether king or caliph) he’d roar: “Bring on my fool!”
Enter fool.
He’d command the jester: “Make me laugh”. Or the juggler to juggle, the ventriloquist to vent and the effeminate minstrel to mince. And when he’d had enough he’d order them gone. Perhaps have them beheaded in a glorious grand finale.
Today we can walk out of the theater, turn off the TV, even shoot it dead as Elvis Presley used to do. But none of that’s good enough: there’s still no escaping the neverending tsunami of information about these people. They dominate the news and it seems more and more of us are fascinated with them.
How many chins did Sarah Palin’s daughter have surgically removed? Does it matter? Is Lindsay Lohan back on the stuff she was on before or is she on some other stuff or no stuff at all? Groan.
Here’s Jennifer Aniston: “Best sex I ever had”. Really! And why would I be interested in that unless it was with me? But wait – she’s adopting a baby, isn’t that sweet. No, she’s actually pregnant, maybe from the “best sex”...
All manner of minutiae about the personal lives of entertainers who impact my life not in the least. Must we care if Demi Moore’s marriage is on the rocks? We could instead pay attention to our own. John Travolta’s wife Kelly Preston is coining in $11 million for a tell-all book. Bully for her.
And bully for us for knowing all this. Hey, it only cost $3.78 for that glossy supermarket gossipoid since we couldn’t wait the extra couple hours to see it on Tittletattle-TV.
I like celebrities who don’t like being celebrities. Apart from his sweet laid-back music I’d select J.J. Cale in this category; standing at the back of the stage behind his band, in his private life just unpretentious and dodging notoriety. Let your skill speak for you. That’s my kind of celebrity, not the ones who shout the loudest and have the least to offer.
Notwithstanding, the talentless continue to demand our attention, from Victoria Spice Beckham to the KKK bimbos, that trio of kurvy Kardashian kuties. And then there are the Survivors and the Big Brother brethren and more assorted nobodies.
We’re served up Snooki and the rest, the Real Housewives of Atlanta and Noo Joizy, the fake housewives of someplace else, the teenage mothers and their swains and all those other wallies who think they’re special. These people are stars? Surely thou jesteth!
Jon and Kate Gosselin whose “great talent” was that they spawned eight children. Mercifully, we’re being spared a threatened reality show starring the notorious Octomom Nadya Suleman, aka Big Birther.
The original no-talent talent was, of course, Zsa Zsa Gabor, the Hungarian husband-collector who couldn’t act, couldn’t sing, couldn’t dance – couldn’t even speak English without tacking “dahling” on the end of every garlic-laced sentence. But when she said she was “famous for being famous” she became famous. That’s all you need to do.
One spouse was Conrad Hilton, he of hotels, and his granddaughter carries on stepgranny’s tradition with a vengeance. Devoid of ability, she’s one of the monotonous young folk who’ll do anything to remain in the news, morally acceptable or not. Are you reading this, Paris Hilton?
If Teenage Mom II has another 50 illegitimate babies in the next five minutes she might be a bit sore but it doesn’t affect my life in the slightest. If Christina Aguilera steals Britney Spears’ boyfriend and then loses her to Avril Lavigne... ho hum. Why this national preoccupation with other people’s trivia?
The Bachelors, the Bachelorettes, Beauties & Geeks, Joe Millionaire, Penelope Pauper: why not end all this contrived romance in one grand syrupy TV finale with a mass wedding like those Cecil-B-DeMille-style Moonie ones. Give ‘em five bucks apiece, a push in the back and wish ‘em a nice life.
Or an extra ten each and chuck the lot of them into a bigol’ wire cage together with the Teen Moms and those Biggest Loser people, with Jennifer Lopez and her famous bottom for added oomph. Then, for a grand Fox-TV gladiator spectacular, have ‘em all battle it out.
Fists only please. This is a family show.

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© 2011 Fred Wehner is a journalist formerly with the Daily Mail in London, who then founded and ran the New York News Agency before settling in Monroe 21 years ago.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO DISTORT


October 19, 2011

For the last two weeks in September Wall Street was taken over by hundreds of folks, young and old. There were jeans and hoodies and also pin-striped suits, some beards, some ponytails and lots of gray hair. No mullets.
These Americans were demanding something be done about the greedy banks who razed our economy to the ground with shady deals, made millions jobless and homeless and pocketed billions of our tax dollars.
This was a major populist event unlike those corporate-funded tea party gatherings, so therefore what the right-wingers keep calling the “liberal media” went into full coverage mode with constant live updates, right?
Wrong. Not until some ten days had passed was there any mention at all, except in the British newspaper The Guardian.
If you watched Fox then you wouldn’t have known about Occupy Wall Street. Goes without saying because Fox is a shameless shill for Big Business. Yet the same is also true about virtually all of publishing and broadcasting. Here was a growing popular movement being summarily ignored.
So much for the liberal media those Republican and tea party types keep pretending exist. As we see here, corporate America and its media hirelings feed us only the information they want us to know while suppressing that which they don’t.
That’s censorship, pure and simple. Censorship as endured by the poor saps living under communism. Pravda, the Russian word for both “truth and “justice” was the name of the Soviet newspaper that gave the citizens neither of these things. Our media are acting the same way, filtering out uncomfortable information - all the news they don’t want you to know.
Large companies control America’s newspapers and cable stations. And every one of our TV networks is a subsidiary of a corporate behemoth. Here are the big six:
NBC is owned by General Electric, a $750 billion conglomerate. ABC’s parent is the $70 billion Walt Disney Company. The CBS Corporation is a $26 billion enterprise that’s linked to Viacom with revenues of $9 billion and both are dominated by mega-tycoon Sumner Redstone. Then there’s CNN, part of Time Warner with $67 billion in assets and finally Rupert Murdoch’s $54 billion News Corp that owns the rabid Fox.
All the above giants are quoted on the stock exchange. How sympathetic could they possibly be to the people’s call for Wall Street accountability? But how eager to have those voices silenced!
It took a rogue cop, Inspector Anthony Bologna - Tony Baloney to his “fans” - to bring Occupy Wall Street to world attention. Indiscriminately, and without provocation, he pepper sprayed some girls already contained behind a police barrier.
My point isn’t that this power-crazed little Hitler disgraced the uniform. It’s that only then, and after 700 peaceful folks were subsequently arrested on the Brooklyn Bridge, that this country’s news outlets, all corporate-owned, found themselves forced to report the event. Why? For fear their absolute right wing bias be laid bare. The so-called liberal media aren’t in the least bit liberal. We’ve all just been fed and re-fed the myth. Tell the lie often enough and it becomes “the truth”.
With demonstrations growing by the thousands, at least one news company’s’ warped approach was an attempt to trivialize it and lampoon the protesters. They’re a “small vocal minority.” A mob. They don’t brush their teeth They’re a bunch of dropout students. They’re communist agitators. Misfits. Pot-smoking hippies engaging in free love in public. The actual footage showed every one of these Fox News assertions to be a downright lie. The protesters are so ordinary they could be – they are - our neighbors.
TV selects its video clips to fit a particular viewpoint, even using scenes from a different event altogether, and Fox News (why always these guys?) has been caught out doing that exact underhanded thing.
My old newspaper, the Daily Mail, ran attacks by far right Americans Charlie Wolf and Brian Darling of the Heritage Foundation. Two unabashed corporate stooges smeared the marchers with the very unsubstantiated and time-worn clich├ęs mentioned above - and triggered a huge backlash of outrage from readers on both sides of the Atlantic. And the Mail is a conservative publication.
When what we’re seeing doesn’t match what we’re being told, that’s a problem. Luckily for us, the Internet is making our traditional media increasingly irrelevant. Consequently, when the cops hustle the TV crews away before flailing at the crowd with batons there are always citizens on hand to make sure this ugliness is relayed to the world.
The only violence seen in all the miles of video has been by the police. Unprovoked. Brutal. Unwarranted. And each time it’s exposed the movement grows, as it has, because Americans - Britons too – react strongly to any attempt to stifle free speech. Indeed, we’re constitutionally guaranteed “the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances”. Which is unmistakably what’s been happening in New York and now in 1,100 other American cities and 82 countries around the globe as this movement proliferates.
The First Amendment also underwrites the freedom of the press, although it fails to consider that a “free” press controlled by Wall Street corporations isn’t free. Or liberal.


ENDIT

© 2011 Fred Wehner is a journalist formerly with the Daily Mail in London, who then founded and ran the New York News Agency before settling in Monroe 21 years ago.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I’M THINKIN’ THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH


October 12, 2011

Skreeeeeeee! Expletive deleted. The veins on the side of your head are sticking out because they’ve done it again and it’s enough to make you wanna kick someone’s... well, you know.
Driving a mile along Criswell Road you’ve suddenly had to slam on the brakes because right in front is that infuriating sign: ‘Road Closed’. Less than startling news, this, because their “advance notice” is planted right there in the pile of dirt they’ve been digging out.
Similar situation more recently on Pannell Road: the message just a few yards from the earthworks, causing Road Closed Rage again. Then on Monroe’s busiest streets two more exasperating holdups and never any warning signs until you’re sitting there. A needless headache, however Lady Luck has placed you slap bang outside the CVS pharmacy.
Pull into the lot to pick up some Tylenol. Past the big sign that says Drive Thru. Follow round to the service window and then there’s another notice: Drive Thru Closed For Scheduled Maintenance. The applicable word now is @$$#*/+$!. Screamed. Loudly.
As with the road works, a heads-up would have avoided the headache. But that requires some forethought and there aren’t too many folks doing that “thinking” thing these days. Anyhow, the sign says the maintenance was scheduled, which means they already knew about it ahead of time.
CVS is on the corner of Broad Street and Alcovy. Is it really Alcovy or Alcova? The Georgia Unemployment Office says it’s located at 226 Alcova Street, some yards up from B&B Small Engine on Alcovy. And the Walton Regional Medical Center is listed as being at both 330 Alcovy and Alcova.
The Parole office is also at 226 Alcova whereas the Department of Juvenile Justice is in the same building but at “Alcove Place”. Which is it? UBD judge.
The Mystery Of The Road That Doesn’t Know Its Name – quite a concept. It’s such a head-scratcher for strangers, too, because this thrice-named thoroughfare is also the Monroe-Jersey Road and on many maps it’s shown as James Odum Road.
Walton County’s proud little mountain is the last and least in the Appalachian chain, not counting the rock on my property under which I’m convinced Newt Gingrich lives. The local Creek indians named it Ulcofauchatchie. It’s Alcovy, while the Baptist church that lies sort-of in its short and stubby shadow is Alcova. So what’s the big deal: Alcove Schmalcove. Close enough, right?
Until recently you’d be heading for Bogart along 78 and see Locklin Road next right. Take it and you’d find yourself on another street altogether - Lockland Road, as the street sign proclaimed. They could have called it Lock-make-up-your-own-ending Road, but then some local wag would have offered up Lockupyourdaughters Road or somesuch. Lockstockandbarrel Road for the gun crowd.
A little further along there’s Clotfelter Road, but only at one end; at the other it was Clothfelter with an ‘h’ until eventually someone notified the local authority. Oh they rectified the problem, kinda. They swiped a lick of green paint over the ‘h’ to make it Clot Felter. Two words.
Hey, that fixed it. Finally they did get it right, but one has to wonder: is ‘that’s good enough’ really good enough?
“Speed Hump”. Hublupp! Hublupp! Owww! The sign was right at the boneshaking bump. You’ve just run over one of those enemies of the automobile known in Britain as “sleeping policemen” and cracked your noggin on the roof. Back for more headache pills.
Then there are those white stop lines at crossroads and T-junctions placed at least a bus-length back from where they should be, and therefore dangerous. Searching for the reason took me to Fairyland, where I found Jack’s beanstalk buddy, the giant, who admitted Walton County had hired him. “Through-oute ye shire,” they commanded, “ye shalle at eache intersection taketh one pace back and there maketh a whyte marke, forsooth.” They used Fairytale English to make sure he understood. They added “forsooth” because it sounded good.
The giant did a great job and painted the line one brobdingnagian stride back from each intersection.
We should never rely on those electronic signs on the interstate. They claim all is clear but oh-h-h no, not so fast. In fact not fast at all. Try maddeningly slow because down the road apiece all lanes but one are closed for resurfacing. The DOT’s electronic switch jockeys are sleeping on the job, is my guess, or playing cards, probably prattling on the phone with their friends about hairdos and boyfriends...
And, as at CVS, this wasn’t an unexpected circumstance. It was pre-planned work, so an early alert would have given some motorists the option of taking an alternate route.
If rage is too strong a word then maybe Road Displeasure. Road Irritation. You’d think they’d think. And some do take pains to try.
Speaking with a county official on the phone and there’s this terribly long pause. “You still there?” A few more moments’ silence and then he says: “I was thinkin’ in my head.” In his head! Good start. Far better than thinking out your... well you know.

ENDIT

© 2011 Fred Wehner is a journalist formerly with the Daily Mail in London, who then founded and ran the New York News Agency before settling in Monroe 21 years ago.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

DR BROUN’S SENSELESS PRESCRIPTIONS


October 5, 2011

Oh no! Not that guy. Now Paul Broun represents us in Washington and the whole world thinks we’re all as ill-informed and skewed as he is. Redistricting has bestowed upon us this gentleman whose off-the-wall pronouncements have made him a laughing stock, labeled the dumbest guy in Congress.
Sure, he’ll keep blurting out the buzzwords about “socialists” and “liberals” and panicking people. But does he actually know what he’s quacking about?
Dr Broun, darling of the tea party, comes with a laundry list of silly statements that he retracts and un-retracts, but with no record of any real achievement for country, state or district. He hates Obama claiming he’s a dictator who seeks to impose martial law. Somebody tell this man hating Obama and spouting rubbish isn’t enough of a qualification to make him our congressman.
So before putting a check against Broun’s name come next election we need to take a good look at the man who presumes to represent Walton County. And before his followers start howling about a “vicious diatribe” let’s be clear that what follows are Broun’s own words. So ehh, what’s up, doc?
First, that blind attack on the president.
Quack 1: Broun has called Obama a Nazi-like Marxist dictator forming a Gestapo-type force. Why? Obama had agreed with US Army demands that a civilian corps take over some of the national security burden. Broun invoked Hitler. He conjoined the Nazis with the Soviets, proving he doesn’t know that these two were sworn enemies. And he added: “It may sound a bit crazy and off base.” Yessir, it sure does.
Quack 2: He is one of the “deathers’ – that cadre of shameful politicians seeking to terrify old folk by falsely claiming “Obamacare”, as they call it, will kill them through denied medical attention. This a thinly-disguised variation on the earlier “granny killing” deception used by many Republicans to create mass hysteria among our seniors. He also said Canadians and British “don’t have the appreciation of life as we do.” Ridiculous outright lies from Dr Death.
Quack 3: He claims man-made climate change is “a hoax.” Every scientific body on earth attributes global warming overwhelmingly to human activity, but Broun knows different. With no proof to the contrary, he accuses the world’s physicists of a “conspiracy”. To do what, Professor Brounstein, a conspiracy to preserve the planet?
Quack 4: Again without producing a speck of supporting evidence, he implies that the Council On American Islamic Relations is a terrorist organization for “planting spies in key national security-related congressional offices.” Oh please!
Quack 5: Another colossal socialist plot, this time from the Center For Disease Control reporting on our eating habits. He said: “They want all the power of the federal government to force you to eat more fruits and vegetables. They going to be calling people and finding out how many fruits and vegetables you eat today. This is socialism of the highest order!" Or could this be Broun’s babbling of the highest order.
Quack 6: He inferred the BP oil spill was deliberately not cleaned up promptly and properly because Obama wanted to use that crisis as an excuse to introduce an energy tax. “I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know.” Correct, Dr Broun, you really don’t know.
Quack 7: In a public display of petulance last year Broun boasted that he was refusing to complete his census form. Nobody could understand the point of this protest because the Constitution says the census must be conducted “in such a manner as Congress shall by law direct.” He’s in Congress. It’s the law. Therefore it’s constitutional and not Broun’s, as an individual, to decide.
The $100 fine he faced was nothing compared to the cost of sending a census official to his house to get the needed information... and adding to the deficit.
So that’s what I see the good doctor doing: harrumphing nonsense.
The Hippocratic Oath he took avowed he would do no-one harm. Unfortunately, he’s decided this doesn’t apply to people’s minds, so ramp up the scare tactics. The homos are coming. And the abortionists, the Muslims and Mexicans. And the Marxists and Nazis, skipping along hand-in-hand. They’re coming to get us, a horde of disparate enemies all armed with AIDS needles and tacos and little red Mao books, Das Kapital and Sharia Law and they’re going to...
Going to what, Dr. Broun? The fearmonger thinks slogans can keep us all terrified of non-existent bogeymen. Call him out on it. That scary monster in the closet becomes a teddy bear once mommy turns the light on.
So not me, Dr Broun. You don’t speak for me. And I venture there are quite a few folks round here who prefer straightforward, sensible talk that doesn’t seek to hoodwink people with puerile, transparent catchphrases.
When a town hall attendee asked who would shoot Obama, Broun validated the creep’s obviously terroristic remark with a giggle. He’s 65. Retirement age. We should retire him.
Comedian George Carlin once reminded us that out there somewhere is the worst doctor in the world. I can’t judge Broun’s level of medical competence: he might be brilliant, he might be terrible. But what I do know is that for Walton County and America he’s bad medicine.

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© 2011 Fred Wehner is a journalist formerly with the Daily Mail in London, who then founded and ran the New York News Agency before settling in Monroe 21 years ago.