Sunday, May 15, 2011


May 15, 2011

President Palin. Hahahahahaha
Phew! Step back off that ledge, folks. And we can all take the loaded pistol out of our mouths, too, because for once a little gust of sanity has blown over this nation and that nightmare has faded.
While largely disliked these days, Sarah Louise Palin may still confound us all by joining the race to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. But she has thrown her - partial - support behind Donald Trump in his equally bizarre bid for the ultimate job. Palin’s isn’t exactly the kind of endorsement you should welcome, I venture, so Donald... duck!
President Trump? No, I’ll stifle the laughter this time. He just died a thousand embarrassing deaths at the hands of the man he’d been haranguing for months. Trump the Grump scowled his way through the White House Correspondents’ Dinner at which he was the unwitting main course. Roasted.
Trump’s presidential platform had been Obama Isn’t American (But I Sure Am). This was neatly dismantled when Hawaii decided to stifle the nonsense and released the president’s complete ‘long form’ live birth certificate. That’s when he became Donald Chump.
You don’t see female clowns at the circus, only in politics. For so long it seemed America had gone Palin crazy. Every word of this brainless bimbo’s prattling was echoed in the media, taken seriously by so many.
A small section of boisterous, and sometimes violent, people with varying agendas of their own sought to jump on her rickety bandwagon while it still had wheels. But the more she said the more it was claptrap. And gradually – oh so painfully slowly – the nation came to realize what kind of bubblehead was hollering those hokey slogans.
The rest of the world identified her instantly as the joke she was, but it took a display of insensitivity over an assassination attempt on a Democrat to sink her here in America. The Alaskan windbag believed her own publicity. She’s now a mere Arctic blast that’s blown itself out.
For hot air we turn to Trump. In his book The Art Of The Deal he impugned President Reagan as a smooth con man. Today he abandons that criticism and joins mainline Republicans in fawning adulation, saying: “I really liked him. He represented something really special for this country.” The Donald wants to be The Ronald, but is missing is the likeability factor.
And not only is he totally humorless, he has also shown himself to be altogether too combative, too belligerent. Always looking for a scrap, he’s targeted, among others, Jerry Seinfeld and Robert DeNiro. And there was that most entertaining conflict with Rosie ‘Foghorn’ O’Donnell: the Battle of the Bigmouths.
“I love to have enemies,” he has said. “I fight my enemies. I like beating my enemies into the ground. Nobody pushes me around, you understand?”
As president would he pick a fight with Putin? Mud wrestle with China’s Wen Jiabao or maybe insult Britain’s Cameron and French premier Sarkozy. Tennessee Republican Lamar Alexander knew immediately: The Donald has no chance of becoming prez. Trump: you’re fired. So who’s left?
Not the wimpy Alexander, who had two stabs at landing the top job, dropping out early both times. Georgia’s own Pennsylvania-born Newt Gingrich has also proved to be totally dishonest in both his political and private lives. Disgraced in Congress, this hypocrite led the charge against the adulterer Clinton while committing the same sin himself. Is this who we want as the face of our country?
Of the first Mrs Gingrich he once said: “She isn’t young enough or pretty enough to be the president’s wife.” Then he served up divorce papers on her while she was in hospital with deadly uterine cancer. Yecchh!
Michele Bachmann! I’ve got to stop coming up with these joke names. Batty Bachmann wants “a penetrating expose” of our congressmen “to find out if they are pro-America or anti-America.” A witch-hunt? I’d call that beyond the palin. An un-American activity.
She kept questioning Obama’s citizenship and also offered to give him a kiss. Woo-hoo!
Anyone else?
Mitt Romney. Is he human? He definitely looks realistic enough. Mechanical, but he can perform tasks on his own or with guidance. He’s been programmed to repeat his party’s buzzwords, albeit out of sequence. Romney the robot needs some rewiring, which may be the reason he just dropped out of the race.
The Reverend Mike Huckabee is too busy making money. Bobby Jindal is too, well, boyish, and another in the parade of boring lightweights is Tedious Tim. When I say the word Pawlenty I just wanna yawn.
As heavies go, Hayley Barbour fits the bill, at least in one way, but his wife yanked him off his soap box and told him: ”You’re not running.”
Among the other clowns in this kooky Republican parade is Rudolph Giuliani, still trading on his “presence” in the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks. And disgraced Rick Santorum, the homophobe who keeps claiming he’s some kind of Winston Churchill incarnation. Not even close, Rick, and definitely no cigar.
I’d welcome a moderate, intelligent Republican standing against Obama, to give me a real choice between one serious agenda or another. But I will not vote for any of these crackpots who’ve seized the limelight


© 2011 Fred Wehner is a journalist formerly with the Daily Mail in London, who then founded and ran the New York News Agency before settling in Monroe 21 years ago.